Sensible Cubicle

Surat Cinta (yang dahulu, sekarang dan selama-lamanya Amin)

2010-03-28T07:18:00.001-07:00

Dahulu, aku kira aku pintar. Juara satu di sekolah, punya banyak teman, dan juga liar. Tujuh dosa yang mematikan, kujalani tanpa sesal. Sama seperti babi hutan, yang tak bermoral. Kujalani hidup dengan akal budi, Berdiri sendiri dan membangun kekuatan pribadi. Sampai kemudian terpatri di hati, Bahwa aku harus lebih berhati-hati. Barulah kemudian aku berjumpa Dia, Yang sejak itu selalu setia. Aku diajar namun juga dihajar, Disayang, dicinta dan ditampar. Sekarang, aku punya Tuhan. Kerajaan kedagingan dan hal-hal duniawi, Buat aku sangat bertentangan dengan prinsip surgawi. Kuganti semua itu dengan damai di lubuk hati, Tidak lagi takut akan bencana atau mati. Saudara-saudaraku kini tersebar di seluruh bumi, Orang Cina, Afrika atau Betawi, banyak sekali seperti jerami. Tiap hari aku bangun pagi, sebelum langit membiru, Memuji Dia dan meninggikan Dia, dengan nyanyian yang baru. Kutanggapi masalah tanpa mengerutkan dahi, Kutahu pasti Dia menengahi. Itu sebabnya aku tahu sekarang aku jauh lebih pintar, Karena dari Raja sendiri aku diajar. Selama-lamanya, aku tahu pasti aku selamat. Karena itu janjiNya, itu keinginan hatiNya. Ini bukan hanya perasaan saja, Namun sesuatu yang pasti dan sekokoh baja. Kemanapun aku melangkah, Dia menemani. Tiap kali ku butuh pertolongan, Dia ada di sisi. Saudaraku seiman, tiada yang lebih pasti dari pada Yesus. Biarpun dunia hancur lebur, Dia menganggap kita khusus. Tenang, saudaraku, kita tidak sendiri. Karena di sampingmu, dan di sampingku, Dia berdiri. (Muar, Malaysia, 26 November 2009)

Dua Tuan dan Satu Anjing

2009-11-09T17:03:00.001-08:00

(Tulisan ini dibuat 11 bulan yang lalu, ketika saya masih bergantung sepenuhnya kepada manusia, bukannya Sang Pencipta)

Teman baikku masuk ke dalam kamar. Langkahnya terdengar di atas lantai kayu, menyeberangi kamar, duduk di sampingku. Pasti ia merasakan bebanku sampai ia berinisiatif mendatangi aku. "Teman, tahukah kau susahnya membagi hati ini untuk dua orang? Tuan yang satu itu, tega sekali sama aku. Aku bisa ditinggal begitu saja untuk perempuan lain, tenggelam dalam dilema dan butiran air mata. Dibiarkannya aku melompat-lompat mencari perhatian dia, mengemis cinta dan cium. Padahal aku tulus datang dengan cinta, tapi cinta itu dilepeh baik-baik olehnya. Ah, walaupun begitu pun aku masih tetap memungutnya. Sedangkan Tuan yang satunya lagi, bikin aku mabuk kepayang. Ia berlutut di depanku, bahkan betah di antara kedua tanganku. Ia menemani aku sampai fajar tiba, dan masjid-masjid mulai berisik. Diberikannya padaku isi pikirannya dan hatinya. Aku jadi merasa disayang, diinginkan, dibutuhkan. Kata-katanya membuat aku pusing, sentuhannya membuat aku merinding. Susah memang, membagi hati untuk dua orang. Apalagi jika dua orang itu sebenarnya satu. Mungkin harus kutunggu sampa keduanya melebur jadi satu, baru kutangkap pakai jala biar tidak lari kemana-mana seperti anjing. Namun kalau ia hendak lari, pasti kurobek sendiri jala itu dengan gunting dalam tasku. Begitu besar kasihku padanya sampai aku rela membiarkan dia pergi." Lho, mau kemana kamu? Teman baikku baru saja keluar kamar tanpa bersuara. Oh, ternyata dia mau makan. Pembantuku sudah menyiapkan makan untuknya. Begitu dia mendengar piringnya dipukul dengan sendok, lupa dia akan ceritaku. Dasar anjing.

Lonte-Lonte

2009-11-09T16:53:00.001-08:00

(Tulisan ini dibuat 11 bulan yang lalu, sewaktu amarah mengambil alih logika, dan caci maki dibuat puisi. Selamat menikmati.)

Muak aku melihat perempuan-perempuan itu. Kulit kecokelatan hasil berjemur berjam-jam, rambut panjang hasil sambung-menyambung bernilai jutaan yang diambil dari kepala perempuan lain yang sudah tidak bernafas, lensa kontak berwarna-warni , bisa jadi mereka malu karena warna matanya tidak sama dengan perempuan Uzbekistan di meja sebelah yang bayarannya cuma satu juta lebih sedikit untuk tiga jam di atas tempat tidur. Belum lagi badan digambar di tempat-tempat yang mengundang birahi, cara berbicara dan berperilaku seperti anak kampung dari Bojongkenyot yang tidak punya uang untuk sekolah dan tidak pernah belajar sopan santun, dan modus operandi di diskotik dengan mendekati laki-laki berkulit putih dan berhidung mancung untuk mendapatkan segelas vodka gratis. Aku pakai lensa kontak agar dapat melihat lebih jelas. Untuk mendeteksi perempuan-perempuan seperti mereka, dan memberitahukan kepada laki-laki atau perempuan di dekapanku agar tidak terbuai dengan binatang-binatang binal itu. Aku tidak sudi menerima minuman gratis dari laki-laki manapun, kalau dia sudah berani merengkuh pinggulku setelah enam puluh detik berkenalan. Mungkin aku tidak pernah ambil sekolah kepribadian, tapi aku tidak pernah melepaskan seantero penghuni kebun binatang dari bibirku. Hati-hati ya Sayang?

Long Live Capitalism

2009-11-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

once upon a time in an ordinary gloomy day like in all those

creepy children books.. a creature was born into this world by a laser beam from the CIA. like many other creatures, this one also learn about capitalism, commercialism, and Mr. Money. quite soon enough, it developed a certain feelings for money called Love. like many other Money groupies, this creature is driven by money. all it can think about is Capital with a big C. then it's Love swallowed all of it's Money. like most lovers did in this epidemic capitalism world. swallowed it all like a wind that wipes away all of it's dreams with it's money in the so-called-promising-future. don't be. we're all humans inside. (photography: danur setsumar & nadia rachel. digital imaging: nadia rachel)

Nurtured by nature.. or tortured?

2009-11-09T12:32:00.000-08:00

What’s your top three drugs of choice? Demikian pertanyaan saya kepada seorang teman yang bekerja sebagai fotografer di sebuah majalah lokal. Tiga kata yang terlontar darinya adalah marijuana, anti-depressants, dan cocaine. Pertanyaan yang semula bertujuan untuk sekedar iseng – iseng belaka, ternyata ditanggapi dengan serius dan membutuhkan waktu sekitar 180 detik untuk menjawabnya. Ketika ditanya lebih lanjut kenapa membutuhkan waktu yang lama untuk menjawab pertanyaan yang notabene konteksnya tidak jauh dari kehidupan sehari-harinya, ‘responden’ tersebut menjawab, “Abisnya top three sih, kalo disuruh milih satu sih gampang, udah pasti ganja.”

Marijuana yang memulai invasinya di tahun 1970-an itu sempat menjadi favorit utama bagi generasi orangtua kita. Magic grass yang konon disebut-sebut sebagai drug of choice-nya John Lennon, Bob Marley, dan sederet musisi lain yang namanya sudah tidak asing lagi di telinga itu dipopulerkan oleh flower generation (hippies) yang berkeliling Amerika untuk menyebarluaskan propaganda world peace-nya di tahun 1970-an. Sampai kini, meskipun world peace itu sendiri masih hanya angan-angan semata dan realisasinya sama susahnya dengan Pancasila, namun para hippie tersebut sukses membuat marijuana menjadi the number one drugs of all.

Dari era kejayaan cocaine di kalangan supermodel jaman Studio 54, LSD yang dipopulerkan Albert Hoffman, sampai anti-depressants yang ditemukan di kantong celana Winona Ryder sewaktu tertangkap shop lifting di Saks Fifth Avenue beberapa tahun lalu, semuanya mengindikasikan bahwa evolusi drugs semakin luas ragamnya. Jimi Hendrix terang-terangan mengatakan bahwa ia menyelipkan LSD di balik ikat kepalanya ketika konser. Nicole Richie yang sekarang dijadikan acuan gaya berpakaian kebanyakan anak muda yang rajin absen di mall-mall juga mengakui bahwa ia mengkonsumsi xanax dan valium, yang termasuk anti-depressant jenis alprazolam dan diazepam. Tapi tetap saja fashion icon yang gaya berpakaiannya berubah 180 derajat setelah mengimplemetasikan tutorial dari seorang fashion stylist yang ternama itu tertangkap basah mengkonsumsi marijuana oleh paparazzi di sebuah night club di Los Angeles.

Apa hebatnya tumbuhan satu ini, yang legal di Belanda dan ilegal di Indonesia? Pihak yang kontra terhadap marijuana mengatakan bahwa “Ganja itu bikin ribet! Gue nggak bisa mikir kalo lagi giting, pasti pikirannya kemana-mana.” Tapi ketika ditanya apa drugs pilihannya, ia menjawab marijuana. Berarti ia pro marijuana yang kontra. Atau kontra marijuana yang pro? Bukan terminologinya atau oposisi dari pernyataannya yang menjadi masalah disini, tapi fenomena marijuana itu sendiri yang tidak ada matinya. Kalau kata para dokter St. Mary Hospital di London bahwa marijuana memperlambat daya pikir otak dan mengurangi kapasitas memori manusia, maka ‘pembelaan’ orang yang pro marijuana adalah ketidakmampuan mereka dalam melaksanakan aktivitas sehari-harinya jika tidak diimbangi dengan penggunaan marijuana.

Otak kiri manusia diidentikkan dengan pemikiran rasional, sedangkan otak kanan identik dengan segi estetika dan emosional. Seorang pelukis mengatakan bahwa inspirasinya untuk melukis didapat ketika mengkonsumsi ganja. Namun ketika ditanya sejak kapan ia mulai mengkonsumsinya, ia membutuhkan waktu yang lama untuk menjawabnya. Lebih lama dari anak lima tahun yang diminta untuk menjelaskan definisi nasionalisme. Kalau ini berarti otak kanannya lebih signifikan dari otak kirinya, maka kesimpulannya adalah otak kirinya sudah terkontaminasi marijuana. Apakah ini kerugian buat si pelukis? Kalau ia hidup dari lukisannya, berarti ia tidak dirugikan. Lain ceritanya kalau ia bekerja sebagai accounting di sebuah perusahaan information technology, jelas ia dirugikan. Kalkulasi cash flow perusahaan bisa jadi berantakan karena keterbatasan memorinya. Rugi atau tidaknya tergantung dari sisi mana marijuana tersebut dihakimi.

Mulai dari satpam perumahan yang bisa disogok dengan selinting ganja untuk membukakan portal pada jam 5 pagi, seorang disc jockey yang mengakui bahwa setelah selesai perform di club terbiasa ‘nyimeng’, sampai artis muda ibukota yang mengatakan bahwa ia seringkali merasa tidak percaya diri untuk di-shoot sebelum mengkonsumsi marijuana; hampir semua orang dari segala strata sosial tidak terlepas dari pengaruh marijuana. Seorang graphic designer di Singapura mengatakan bahwa top drug of choice-nya adalah marijuana, selain ecstasy dan crystal. Padahal ia menyadari fakta bahwa di negara tempat ia menetap diberlakukan death penalty untuk marijuana user atau seller.

Ditinjau dari kacamata agama, marijuana itu dosa. Namun orang-orang beragama ternyata banyak juga yang tidak lepas dari ganja. Bagi orang-orang seni, kreativitas mereka datang dari marijuana. Dan negara kita butuh kreativitas rakyatnya untuk meningkatkan devisa negara, seperti Jepang yang penghasilannya dari komik manga empat kali lipat dari hasil export bajanya. Siapa tahu Aceh yang konon adalah produsen ganja terbesar di seluruh Indonesia bisa memberikan kontribusinya untuk meningkatkan devisa.

Jadi, nurtured by nature.. or tortured by nature?

Salah Sendiri

2009-11-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

Malam ini bulan hampir bundar. Tapi cahayanya tidak berpendar. Jempol kakiku mengintip dari balik stoking hitam yang tercabik rokok. Mengejek. Menertawakan. Sepuluh menit aku termenung. Dari merasa sedih, tolol, sampai akhirnya tertawa sendiri. Batasan realita jadi rancu. Semua kacau. Tadi malam mimpiku bernuansa hitam dan biru. Dipenuhi kostum yang meneriakkan kekuatan kaum feminis dan hak tiga belas senti yang mendominasi. Tapi mimpi itu layaknya embun. Menguap setelah dicium matahari. Sekarang digantikan sampah dan kaleng kosong. Rasanya, hai teman, sama seperti cinta monyet semasa SMP. Tiket nonton disimpan rapi. Kuperhatikan cara ia berbicara dan tertawa. Sampai hafal dengan kebiasaannya berkata-kata. Berhari-hari ia menetap di mimpiku. Namun statusnya tetap nomaden. Dari semua laki-laki di luar sana, mengapa dia? Dia, yang sekarang tidak mungkin dirasa, diraba, atau dicium. Dia, yang logika berpikirnya sukses mematahkan logika dan moralku. Sampai-sampai aku harus membujuk otak untuk berteman dengan hati. Kalau mereka rujuk, aku tidak jadi mati. Menginginkan sesuatu yang tidak mungkin itu sama dengan menentang salah satu dari sepuluh perintah Allah. Atau memang inilah yang namanya hidup? Jari kelingkingnya lebih besar dari jari tengahku. Tapi jempolku sama panjang dengan kelingkingnya. Ia mungkin tidak ingat. Tapi aku tahu aku bisa menggambar siluet mukanya dengan mata tertutup,

kalau aku mau. (Jakarta, Desember 2009)

Dull To Pause

2009-09-06T09:45:00.000-07:00

Pastel Palette

2009-04-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

Perfect day, like Lou Reed said. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LG39Wp7OzQ

Apanya Yang Lucu?

2009-02-17T01:36:00.001-08:00

Beberapa menit yang lalu saya menyempatkan diri untuk melihat apa yang sedang dikerjakan oleh adik perempuan saya di kamarnya. Dia masih duduk di tingkat terakhir Sekolah Dasar, dan termasuk murid yang pintar di sekolahnya (melihat gelar Juara Umum yang berhasil didapatnya dan juara kelas berkali-kali). Saya menyadari potensi yang dimilikinya, dan selama ini selalu berusaha untuk membimbing dia sedapat mungkin ke arah yang positif. Dilihat dari perkembangannya, hebat juga koleksi film kartunnya hasil download sendiri di Rapidshare. Dari parental control yang saya lakukan, selama ini semuanya masih positif, sampai beberapa menit yang lalu. Adik saya (Liza Rachel) sedang YouTube-ing ketika saya masuk ke kamarnya. Dari tampilan layar yang berwarna-warni, sepertinya kartun tersebut biasa saja, sama seperti kartun lainnya yang diperuntukkan untuk anak kecil. Ternyata ia sedang menonton Happy Tree Friends; kartun yang sudah sering saya dengar namun tidak pernah saya tonton sebelum hari ini. Tapi ketika saya memperhatikan adegan-adegannya, dahi saya langsung berkerut. Langsung saya bertanya. "Buat apa sih nonton ini? Memangnya bagus?" "Habisnya lucu, Kak. Buat iseng-iseng aja." Lucu dari mana? Adegannya tidak jauh-jauh dari bola mata yang ditembus ujung gunting, pecahan kaca yang masuk ke dalam mulut, aquarium dengan air berwarna merah darah, karakter yang dijepit kursi sampai badannya hancur lebur, bahkan ada satu episode dari Mondo Mini Shows tersebut yang menceritakan bagaimana karakter berbentuk rusa berwarna biru yang kakinya terjepit pohon terpaksa menggergaji kakinya dengan sendok dan penjepit kertas sepanjang hari. Saya sendiri bukan tipe orang yang takut melihat darah, tapi ketika (dulu) saya menonton film Saw buatan Australia itu, jujur saja saya sempat mual melihat adegan kaki digergaji yang persis sekali dengan adegan Happy Tree Friends tersebut. Ini memang bukan isu baru. Namun saya tidak dapat tidak memikirkan; apa kira-kira akibat jangka panjangnya bagi adik saya? Bagaimana dengan anak-anak lainnya? Apalagi mereka yang di bawah umur lima tahun (The Golden Age), yang kemampuannya menyerap informasi menentukan pertumbuhan cara berpikir mereka untuk (setidaknya) 30 tahun ke depan? Hasil penelitian melalui metode content analysis oleh Parents Television Council terhadap kartun-kartun serupa di negara-negara maju menunjukkan bahwa dari 443 jam penayangan kartun-kartun tersebut, terdapat 3.488 bentuk kekerasan. Penelitian yang sama juga mengindikasikan bahwa lebih banyak kekerasan dalam program acara televisi untuk anak kecil dibandingkan program untuk orang dewasa. Sampai sekarang belum ada tanggapan yang riil dari pemerintah. Mereka hanya dapat menghimbau para orangtua untuk memperhatikan acara-acara televisi yang ditonton anaknya, dan memberikan penjelasan atau bimbingan tertentu. Keseluruhan permasalahan ini membuat saya teringat dengan salah satu episode di The Simpsons, ketika Marge Simpson berinisiatif menghitung sendiri jumlah adegan kekerasan di kartun Itchy & Scratchy kesayangan Bart dan Lisa, kemudian menuntut perusahaan yang berkaitan untuk mengurangi kadar kekerasannya. Usahanya tidak sia-sia, karena Marge mendapatkan banyak dukungan dari orang-orang yang mempunyai visi yang sama. Dan untuk sementara, saya hanya dapat 'melindungi' adik saya dari kejahatan kartun tersebut. Menyedihkan.

Surreality vs. Hyperreal

2009-02-17T01:15:00.001-08:00

I’m aware of the fact that human being is full of mysteries. Nobody could predict what’s in our mind precisely, just like nobody can understand us completely. It’s impossible to reach 100% similar field of experience in life. Only The Creator has the authority to access that other side of our life. Come to think of it, human beings nowadays started to scare the hell out of me. I saw these tendencies, many tendencies becoming more and more habitual every day. They covered up their life, their daily routines, with this pseudo-mask to portray a pseudo-world, causing us to live in a pseudo-reality. And that makes us.. what? Hypothetically speaking.. The Greatest Creation of God? Or mediocre homo sapiens? Look around. Switch your meticulous mode on. Smell the view, see the sweats. It’s everywhere. They’re imminent. You can run, yet you can’t hide. We sweat the small stuffs, and ignore the humongous stuffs that matters. Or is it the small stuff that matters..? Or the big stuff is innocuous..? I can barely tell the difference no more.

Ever feel like you’re one of them? Have you ever went to a party you didn’t even want to attend, but you felt that you have some obligation to do so, just because your hello-then-goodbye friend told you to come over because he/she’s gonna spin the vinyl when you bumped into that person at some random place? And we justify it with the label “social-being.” Have you ever hurt someone’s feeling? Just because you know that you’ve done something wrong to that person, but that pompous heart of yours told you not to apologize? Then you’re being repulsive, denying the fact that it is a paradoxical scene that you’re supposed to solve, and we justify it with the label “position means power” or even worse; "love hurts." Have you ever seen those images or videos of war? That costs more innocent souls than you can imagine, and you know that their government’s only concern is the soil left to burry the corpses, but you just stay put and sit still in your sleazy leather couch, potato couching and stuffing microwave-heated popcorns into your mouth, showing a glimpse of sympathy for a second, then changed the channel, snubbed those feelings away and go on with your life like nothing happened? And we justify it with “Oh, let’s not worry about something we didn’t need to think about. It happened in the other side of the world anyways.” or even worse; “They already have authorized peoples to take care of them. We can do nothing, because we’re nobody. We are not that astute enough to change the world.” Ever read an article that explains about how the symptoms of global warming becoming more blatant and obvious, damaging and dangerous day by day, but you put down the magazine, walked out into your vehicle that produces a massive amount of carbon dioxide along with other vehicles you passed by on the way to your 35 stories high office building with mirrors all over the skyscraper, causing a glass house effect that leads to another damage toward the earth’s ultra violet shields, which we should overhaul instead of ignoring it? And we justify it with “One small change wouldn’t change the whole world.” or worse; “We didn’t build the goddamn buildings, so go mind your own fucking business!”

A concrete state of reality has changed its form into a formal delusion that we’ve created to hide our guilt. The reality itself, is covered up with ‘other reality’, which I may call the ‘hyper real’ world, where the real ‘reality’ doesn’t appear as the real one anymore. The real ‘reality’ has gone far more beyond that. It became ‘surreal.” And may I ask.. How concrete is surreal? Go ask yourself. Which side of reality are you living in right now? Are you hyper real? Or are you plain surreal? And that should lead us to the final curiosity; What is real? And this is the point where I should leave. So you guys can think with your contaminated brains. Civilizations made a troglodyte out of us. Dig out some reality. See if you can still find any.

More Creature Than Human

2009-02-17T00:56:00.000-08:00

Amongst all theories, statements, or even opinions from brainiacs all around the world, most of them mentioned The Humanism Theory in their explanation, or in educational context; lectures. Human being is the greatest creation of God, and ‘they’ say that’s because we have emotion, which is derived from our right brain, filled with aesthetic, emotions, sympathy and empathy, and so on. They say that aspect of internal factors is the only factor that differentiate George Bush and those purple toads from Suriname; human vs. animals. The big question is: Is it true? There’s this scientist whom I forgot his name, but he made some sort of an research, an observation about how different types of music could make a difference for lab rats experiments. Classic music makes them healthier, rock music makes them grumpy. Even this kind of observation is nonsense, IMO. How could such an experiment with a variable such as music, can be best described as rock and classic music as the only types of music qualified enough to determine the result of an observation? Stereotypes. Sigh.

In the other side, I once read about an experiment where different types of music could also determine the growth of plants. Now this may sound.. Looney. But almost all scientists are lunatics, right. That’s a statement, not a question. Have you met Einstein face to face? I met him in my dreams once, and his hair looks exactly the same like the one in his worldwide spreads images. Now.. Imagine if you’re a plant. Let’s say you’re Cannabis. Classic and pop music makes you grow faster, and blooms in minutes. (Now that’s a hyperbolic statement) But dance music and house music makes your leaves grow in its least quality, whatever. Scientific research has proved that it’s true and reliable. Very well then, Mr. Smart Ass. And now, as the inferior group of those geniuses, let us do the math. Human being has the ability to process everything their braincells received. That’s why they reacts to music. Trip Hop ballads from Portishead or Sigur Ros might trigger the depressing feeling within your mind. Italo Disco and Krautrock might increases your serotonin hormone and adrenaline rush, makes you want to dance, dance, dance, as if you're under the influence of amphetamines substance.

But then again, why do we feel depressed when we hear Massive Attack’s Teardrop tune on a random radio station? That’s because we have emotion, of course. But how did rats become healthier and marijuana grows faster when they listened to particular types of music? Correct me if I'm wrong, but if the same concept from those theorists is implemented in the last two experiments, that means US (humans), are no different than animals. Or mammals. Or carnivores. Or cannabis. Or white lilacs and red roses. HUMAN reacts to music as a proof that we DO have emotions. Could someone please explain it to me, what about the rats and the marijuana..? Otherwise I’ll draw a conclusion by myself, and that'll make me an atheist. Because if I believe in Darwin’s theory that human beings are originated from the apes, then it’ll be a contradictory against my own beliefs. Oh, fuck it. We’re more creature than human.

El Increíble Viaje de la Hechicero

2008-07-18T00:22:00.000-07:00

a crack from a harlot.

2008-06-30T04:02:00.000-07:00

obsolete psychosomatic.

2008-06-26T23:16:00.000-07:00

i love you, i know that. we're not meant to be together, i know that. and that makes me the villain behind all this? I'm here. but my mind keeps on wandering around. they found their way out of reality, into a state of obsolete. I've tried to obliterate you from my head. my cellphones. my virtual accounts. my life. but the more I try to erase you, the more you appear. i would love to love you. but the impediment, involves one of the most significant aspect of life. salute for fucking faith! i got bruises all over my hands. you know how i grinds my hands badly when I'm stressed out? now there's abraded areas all over. you made a psychosomatic out of me. yet, I'll still love you long time. is that you, signing in?

for the love of love.

2008-06-26T23:11:00.001-07:00

I love the way you listen to me when I’m babbling about the enigmas of life –or when I’m purely psycho babbling— You look at me and I know you know that I’m having a stressful day. I love how you conduct such manner to know when to give feedbacks without irritatingly judging the case, or when to provide a shoulder to rely on. I love it when you tangle my hair with your fingers and let them slip away, or when you let me touches your ears when it's freezing out there (you know how I love 'cold' ears). I love it when you spew those sweet words without the word ‘cliché’ written on your forehead, or when you pull such spoiler acts for such romantic scenes when we’re alone by ourselves. I love it when you accompany me to see my fave flick, or when you try to stay awake during the film (oh yes, I recognized those sleepy eyes!) And as a friend told me earlier, I hate relationships, but I love being in love. ps: yes dear, this note is about you.

deep city diving.

2008-06-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

biosynthesis scene.

2008-06-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

I used to put on a happy face. But of course, there’s this weird load you have. A pint a day keeps the demon at bay, and keeps my insanity in its cage. And yes, I strutted myself into this bar. Masturbating alligators turned their heads to me. Yet, I chose the chair far left, to avoid their nymph looks. Dubious facts made their way inside my head. Penetrating badly, it caused headache and made me blink a few times to snub it. My consciousness is evolving. And no, dear, you’re not there, yet. And that’s why I raised my hand and asked the bunny for another glass. Someone came. The alligator’s approaching. I can smell his filthy shirt with my brain, dipped in germs and wombats from nine to five. I thwarted the sickness within my stomach, and forced another glass of beer into my mouth, gladly. I overheard another alligator talking with the bunny waitress. He cast a spell on her with his sagacious words, And there she stands still, looking gullible than ever. Oh, you arrived already. Sitting right next to me with that exhausted expression, You never realized that you just vanquished my boredom. “You look disgruntled,” I said. “These meetings been wearing me off,” you replied. So I rubbed the back of your neck, And you finished your first glass. “I’m going to the ladies room. I’ll be waiting for you. One minute,” I said. You nodded. Less than one minute later, you entered the set. I kissed you. You kissed me. I closed my eyes and I see images, appeared in my head like a slide from an over head projector. Tongues. Hands. Breath. Nails. Estrogens. Testosterones. We’re making a biosynthesis scene, aren’t we? And I throw my happy mask away. I don’t need it no more.

Die Gedken Sind Frei.

2008-06-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

venturing a voyage for a secular interest.

2008-06-26T22:34:00.001-07:00

mad monks on mescaline.

2008-06-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

tribute to deviant art,

2008-05-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

Moonbirds and Monsters

2007-12-25T01:04:00.000-08:00

random stuff from daily experiences. the queen of all queer.

the fattest lolita alive.

up for some serious snacks.

a sane man in an insane world.

spaced out disc joker.

two monstrous creatures arguing over a street-side lamp.

who says bart can't twist those knobs?

milk bar euphoria.

hang your faith. it helps.

Booka Shade

2007-12-12T10:53:00.000-08:00

S-Sh-Shh-Shhoesss

2007-09-22T09:47:00.000-07:00

FGD EXPO 2007 Part II: Thug For Life (The Mobsters)

2007-08-15T05:42:00.001-07:00

there's this wall bombing by our local street mobsters moguls.

too bad i'm not there during the 'bombing' session.

apparently i'm late.

24 hours late.

darbotz

tutu tupai

yellow dino. or green dino..?

wormo

morden

mm.. anyone?

Swapmeet Gets Sweaty

2007-08-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

remember this?

well, here's the event, dood:

FOOTURAMA!

my new canvas.

that's a joke.

cheese burger, anyone?

my favorite stand.

too much sneakers freaks you out, eh?

no, we're not fighting over sneakers.

i just miss her so bad.

handmade necklaces?

Sou Brette, Zsou Zsou, Topnotch, you name it, they got it.

watcha laughin' at, dood?

the Footurama guys.

wish there's my size.

sigh.

old folks reunion!!

The French Invaded Jakarta

2007-07-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

Tahiti 80 concert. Nikko Hotel, Upper Room.

21st July.

booze. friends. pics.

Xavier Boyer aka. Axe Riverboy doing his 'thang' A combo set; Mr. Serial Killer Mederick and Xavier

i've warned you. he kills.

Pedro Resende on the move.

Pothead Panda

another incidental similarity

i heart this guy

because when i snatched them to Quirk It! he's still good at heart. me favorite producer. and panda. Axe Riverboy twisting knobs at the post-party, Dragonfly

Beavis & Butthead. Ren & Stimpy.

Dumb & Dumber. Pedro & Xavier.

Spook Ville Manor

2007-07-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

this is the kind of artcrafts that a 10-years-separated sisters will do..

if the older sister is sober.

we unleashed The Dream Intruders:

Le Hermaphroditte

Le Masque & Witchidsquid

Monsieur Booboo

Les Frankerillaz

and here they are.. intruding our dreams every night:

Rock and Rollers

2007-07-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

"Lucy in the sky with diamonds.."

(The Beatles)

" Turn on, tune in, drop out."

(Timothy Leary R.I.P.) "To be peaceful without being stupid, to be interested without being compulsive, to be happy without being hysterical.. smoke grass!" (Ken Kesey) "Pot is a reality kick." (Anonymous)

"After midnight, all things are possible.."

(Timothy Leary, R.I.P.)

Poop Modus Operandi

2007-07-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

i was sitting in the back side of my house two days ago.

(i can't call it a back yard, cause it's not a yard.

it's just an outdoor space at the back of the house)

that's where i use to sit at nights, wandering and stares to the moon. and brainstorming with myself.

you know, me and I.

then my dog came. he was trained to poop or pee in that 'area' only.

this is his 'walking pattern' before the pee and poop happens.

that's really.. awkward.

i dunno is it the dog or me, but the walking pattern,

the way he sniffs and stuffs.

what's in his mind, actually?

is he checking whether this certain area has been taken by others, cats perhaps?

why he didn't pee in one spot only, instead of two?

and why did he poop in front of me..?

Bearbricks are God's copyright

2007-07-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i went to the rooftop in my temporary 'office’ (I’m still an interns neways). I looked down and realized the fact that most people doesn't look up when they're down there. I mean, from the ‘lil boy in blue shirt who’s talking to himself, the guy carrying eggs around in boxes, the driver keep on brushing the door panel of his boss' car for more than half an hour,

even this guy riding a motorbike with his girlfwend in black n white stripes shirt that stopped by just to hug each other and whispering things to each other. How roh-man-tic. nyahh. The motorbike-guy also scratches his scalp, and when the germs or those kutumbaba hanging tightly inside his fingernails, he sniff on it.

How disgusting is that? I even swallowed my Nescafe latte hardly when I saw him doing that. But then again, when the sunset finally came around, I think I saw some sort of a.. I dunno.. Like an antenna or something. i do believe in aliens. I think they all could watch us anytime and anywhere. When you're on the shower, when you fix your misplaced underwear, when you're farting silently, or even when you're in the middle of an intercourse. They may be invincible, or even a cockroach.

Maybe that’s why cockroaches are the only living being left when Nagasaki and Hiroshima was bombed with nuclear.

I wonder.. How the aliens did their reproduction?

If it’s true that they’re THAT technologic, they no longer do sexual intercourse, right?

I’ve met a few versions of aliens in my dreams.

One of them looks like a triangle troll with Mohawk greenish hair.

Hmmm.

Trolls. Bearbricks. Fatcaps. Dunnys.

One of my God’s 10 Amendments is to never make something imitating His shape.

So that makes Bearbricks are Gsus’ copyright, yes? No?

And all those Daft Punk and Gorillaz figurines also?

Ahh, my charismatic poetic christianatic mother.

Electrollation Martian

2007-07-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

electronic music + art installation?

me love MILITIA.

even though i'm too stoned to drive and get lost on my way there, twirling around in circles

for more than 7 times or so, but i made it anyway.

genius minds combined with live musical performance sounds too good to be true.

salute for those insatiable minds of art and absurdity.

this video installation from Julika Rudelius (Holland) is one of my fave of all.

it's a simulation of a mosh pit and.. umm.. u have to see it by yourself.

no words can describe it precisely as it meant to be. WOW.

military militia

a live video installation.

i wish i had more time just to sit down and watch the whole video.

turns out i only had the chance to captured a guy passing thru. well done, mate.

my long lost fella. freakazoid, you. anyways thanks for the beer.

you saved my live. any lollipops, dude?

ok america, show us your fucked up bush in a bunker. forever.

naaahhh. i dunno this guy,

but he surely mixed dub with electronic samples wickedly.

ononad??!!

Benyamin Goes International.

2007-07-08T00:27:00.000-07:00

last saturday night. embassy. agrikulture's "dawai damai" album launching.

astonishing live performance.

great grrreat teamwerk, almost like kraftwerk.

but this one comes with kompor mleduk.

read it this way: antonlure. see? post-modern-kraftwerk-like.

they blurred me out. no kidding.

hogi chaplin, everyone!! the newly wed heru. lookie. he's full of hearts :p wonderthings. but not at wonderbar. no noo.

oh my. that similar pose is coincidental.

tanj ung pri ok hunt ing

2007-07-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

hunting about daily activities in the railway.

an actual proof of our govern's dickheads stoopid ideas.

Take Good Care of Your BOOBS

2007-07-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

yipeekayayyyyy!! i just received my old SLR camera, the Canon EOS 30D, about an hour ago.

i told a friend of mine to 'upgrade' it with an infra red feature, you know,

the kind of camera tricks that can see through your shirts.

careful, bitches.

if there's anyone around doing candids with a red light from their lens,

it's very possible they're trying to captured your nipples. bwahahhahahahh.

but damnnnnn, this new cam is a total RADDD!!

i just tried a few shots (thanks to daddy-o), there's no noise or over-exposure whatsoever.

see it for yerself.

From Roxanne to Roxette

2007-07-03T03:37:00.000-07:00

last saturday night i went to Public for some 80's style discotechro.

*WTF???*

from Roxanne to Roxette, New Order and other 80's music-muses tracks mixed by Anton and Hogi,

teamed with great vibe, mates, a bit of dis-an-dat, we all had a very..humm..

80's hell of a night ;)

"WHERE'S THE BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE, DUDE??"

spaced out aditya

a nigga photog. watcha sayin', ray gun? JIGGA??

please. do SHOUT out LOUD.

who says DJs can't get wasted on the set?

get a room, dude.

feeling euphorically hype, lads..?

sorry, Mr. Anonymous. i'm on the rock, and off the rave.

mylo, girl vader, and kulkas.

Machico Von De Angelhouse

2007-07-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

3rd of July!!

one day before America's Independence Day is my best pal's birthday;

Chico, my lazy-arse shih tzu doggy.

he's 4 years old now, which means.. 4 times 7 = 28 years old.

geez. he's way much more older than moi.

i'm going to throw a party for him at my casa tonight, there'll be many sausages and chicken nuggets

(you know, the kind of food you throw to the floor for your dog),

and many doggies from the neighbourhood, also a few cats from the gutter.

he's friends with them. don't ask me why.

i'm trying to surprised Chico by inviting his soon-to-be-girlfriend-just-for-a-hump named Oreo,

but she hasn't lemme know whether she can come by or not, she's having this bathing-day at 4pm.

i think that's just her way to fake the fact that she wants to look fabuloso at her crush-on boy-dog.

he asked me to be the matchmaker to get him laid.

poor Chico. still a virgin at the age of 28..?

get a life, mate!

Essence of Life.

2007-07-01T21:13:00.000-07:00

things i can't live without:

good sex.

faith.

420 and mind-dumbing jokes.

Oh and by the way..

2007-07-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

happy Sunday, dude.. have a good wine!

See what you get. Get what you see.

2007-07-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

i told them to take off their shoes.

i told them to cross their legs like that.

i told them "if you're into peace, gimme the peace sign please."

and they did.

insecure securities.

peace out.

Afros stares at the sky

2007-07-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

I closed my eyes for a minute just now, on my way home from the church.

(Yes, lads. i DO believe in God).

The mind beneath my subconscious stage saw a girl wearing a triangle shaped dress in black and white colors,

and a high top Doc Martens. She was talking to a Cambra, a camel and a zebra in one form of species.

The Cambra smokes a Camel cigs, and flirting to these two afro girls with bird-nest-like hair

(which reminds me of Elke Kramer).

Too bad, the Cambra didn’t have the chance to ask for their cell numbers.

Those afros are too busy staring at the sky.

On their left side, the sun is shining.

On the right side, the moon is coming.

And then my dad woke me up and told me that we’re home yet.

Geez, Dad.

I haven’t had the chance to photograph the Cambra!!

The Hip Hop Poets

2007-07-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

Last friday i went to this Hip Hop Poetry Battle at Taman Ismail Marzuki with a fella.

turns out, the hiphop scene in Jogjakarta are waaay damn wicked, duuude!

the whole concept is great, they had these wall as the background for the DJ set,

where spray-paint-whores do their live graffiti.

i tot i saw Karma Crew doing one of those wall-bombing.

down the stage, is where the live performances from Jahanam, Kill The DJ, Molothuvz from Bandung

and blahblahblah to, you know, do their 'thang' :)

they did this sort of poet version of battle. or battling with poets.

whatever.

most of all, i was pretty surprised by the fact that Jogja Hip Hop Foundation as one of the milestone

for the invasion of hip hop has been developing very very VERY great.

ohh, and i love DJ Vanda and Yudhistira,

there's this show-off-thingy way of performing from them that includes turntablism technic which is kinda..

COOL.

bwahahhaahh.

ono and yao bling

live bombing

the prep

the beginning of the end

yep. that's the long lost Master Iwa K himself, dude.

poerap. poetry rap.

shake what your momma gave you, bitch

whos is das? me forgot. still great though. his act makes my toes dancing in circles.

another live bombing. spray til you drop, dude. or sniffed up til you choked to the bone.

doing some finishing stuff, mate? nice werk. but not as good as kraftwerk.

Ants of The Month

2007-07-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

When I was having my morning coffee and cigs in the roof top this morning, I saw these ants marching neatly into a drain pipe. Automatically, Jakarta’s drivers occurred in my mind instantly. You see, when I pay real close attention to those ants, there’s this one ant, only one, who leads all of its army. How did the system works? Is it ‘Ants of The Day’ just like McDonald’s ‘Employee of The Month’, who gets to leads all of them for the day? I think ants have brilliant brains. For such a small creature, it has bigger brains compared to elephants. At some point, it occurs to me that maybe ants are smarter than humans. Well, at least more discipline. Take a brief look at all those bus drivers, taxi drivers, ‘angkot’ drivers, and even ourselves. Can we manage to drive properly in the right order, just like those ants did when they smell my coffee and marched all the way to my self-fulfilling-prophecy mug? I think I want to join them. I’d like to be the ‘Ant of The Day’ to find out how it feels like to lead an army of ants. Then we should bomb The Blue States or Canada. It’ll be fun. You should join us.

Occupation: Media Whore

2007-06-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

I’m an intern now.

i write reviews, mocking musicians, drink a lot of coffee, have a good laughs, smokes a lot,

and I have to say yes to all the tasks they gave me.

The ‘problem’ here, is that I’m a workaholic.

I mean like a REAL workaholic.

When you gave me job to do, I’d sit down in my white cubicle and sat still until my work is finished. Enough with the interns’ shiznitz. I captured a few interesting things at the workplace, that maybe other humanoids

wouldn’t mind to pay attention to it.

i found a nigga in a white nigga's cubicle.

all dogs goes to heaven. all cats goes to heaven too. as DOG FOOD.

our very first lunch break.

ah soo. so this is where my white cubicle takes place.

this rooftop is the getaway spot where i can smokes a lot, capturing peoples down there, and staring at.. well, something.

the things you do when you're doing nothing.

my interns-fella, one rare species. sometimes she's damn spiritualistic kind of thingie. other times she stimulates me to do shits. yuck fou but i yove lou.

the puff puff pass venue. niiiice view, mate?!

honor the gods. not their heritages.

Sleeps on Speeds.

2007-06-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

a couple candids i took while i'm on the subway, or mass rapid transportation, or kcr, whatever.

are you aware of the fact that people DID fell asleep in an enormous high-speed public transportation?

it's funny though, how they develop such a mindset that sleeping in a public transport

are considered one of their 'common' daily activities,

whilst here in Jakarta, when people fell asleep,

it's considered immoral, impolite, rude, harsh, and blahblahblah.

well in my opinion, people should be allowed to sleep anywhere they wanted to.

especially in public places.

so i can captured them and put it online, so that all the people

in this small world can see their actual faces.

you do realized that the most 'innocent' face expression of all earthicans,

are the ones when you're asleep, right?

this proves that even social climbers, those fuckin rich and spoiled celebs,

or even common poeple i met on the train,

can't always managed to make their faces looks like what they wanted,

all the time.

other candids also taken when i'm in the subway too.

approximately 7 seconds after i took this picture, she fell down.

listening to yer fave lullaby, lady?

granda pop. on pot. LOL. you see, the lady's hair on the left looks very much alike my dog, chico. and the other lady in purple shades glasses reminds me a bit of our oldest president ever. you know, the one that stood up in the podium and almost step up to the table? nyahh. THAT one. passing an advert.

ahhh.

other peoples read and review their works again and again and again.

even after working hours, in a crowded subway train,

or when someone took a picture of him

while he's cross-checking his work.

so this is WHY indonesians keeps crawling for food and clean water.

we are not that kind of hard-worker.

we're just not that into WORKING.

ladies. gossips. criticizing simultaneously. enough said.

human behaviors on a train.

need help, grandpa? scholastic education is their intention for the moment.

poor girls.

you're not aware of the fact that we are all to cool for school,

didn't you?

One fine sunday afternoon.

2007-06-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

last sunday afternoon i went to casa, kemang

to meet an old friend of mine.

we always managed to meet up, for a quick session of

brainstorming, exchanging minds, or just playing around making fun

of the people we know or we don't know.

and that's not gossiping.

we're mimicking and imitating, but never gossiping.

sunday afternoons has always been my fave time of the week.

by 4 pm, i usually came out of the cage, driving around

in my car and smoking pot non-stop, pretending i'm a fuckin netherlands

stranded in polluted jakarta.

anyways.

here's a few shots i captured while we we're talking about

love, lust, life, economic climate, orgy, drug dealers,

modus operandi, the culture gap between generation X, Y and Z,

lipstick, simulacra simulacrum, michel gondry and adang daradjatun.

the view from our couch.

the lonesome pillows.

lean back. turn left. there they are. snap snap.

the old fella. a great mind stuck in a perv's being.

three little pigs waiting for the fox to blow away their houses.

Stoned Age.

2007-06-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

pot.

lunatics.

radiohead video.

insanity.

mysterious-being.

humanism theory.

we're all gods.

earth.

socrates during church era.

if we could, that makes us a looney or we've revealed the mystery of life?

these are the things i think about right now.

at first i'm planning to write it all down in paragraphs, not pointers.

but then i get too stoned, and now i just wanna grab some beer and

watch scorsese's Taxi Driver for the 7th time.

remind me to explain about all those points above later on.

xxx

Things that pops when you're on pot.

2007-06-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

last night i melted and transform myself into another side of the world.

this morning, i caught a note by my pillow where i wrote my thoughts

when i was in the other world. the world of my own. here's what it says:

why did i chose pale orange for my wall paint?

i don't really like orange, you know.

what's happening with the world right now scared the shit out of me.

visionarists and theorists can only provides their visions and theory.

but they can never change the fact that's happening this very moment.

that singularity theory, i think it has some sort of sense in it.

not some sort.

it does make sense for me.

if anything in the earth will became one at last,

what'll happen to the human race?

and the cockroaches?

they're supposed to be the alien, right?

they're able to live even in a radiated-soil.

i bet when nagasaki and hiroshima was nucleared,

the cockroaches still crawls around with their absurd form of an insect.

wait.

they ARE insects, right?

what about dogs?

is it true that they can only see in black and white?

that's like living in the charlie chaplin era.

for your whole life.

for Stevie Wonder that might not be a problem at all.

but for me, blahh.

why i never have the time to make a brain?

i have my bulging brain kit.

i may need a spare-brain.

oh my oh my.

i have to.

what if the brain cells in my brain dead?

who knows if they're already dead and disfunctional right now?

what if i can't think for my own future?

is it okay to pay someone else to figure out what to do with my own life?

there's nothing immoral about it, right?

my finger nails.

they're orange.

maybe that's why i painted my wall in pale orange.

no no. i don't think so.

i think i decided to paint it orange because when the sunlight burst into my room,

it'll make a great effect.

now i remember.

remembrance.

remembrall.

can you SMELL memory?

can you smell happiness?

can you smell God?

can you smell smells?

S M E L L.

what a waste of the letter L.

even if we only use one L instead of two, it has the

exact sampe pronounciation.

singular.

scary.

sensible.

dammit, i think i'm too stoned.

I'd rather post this than read another textbook.

2007-06-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yoko mourns because her 8 new born babies and her beloved husband left her

all alone in this world of massacre, for good.

John died this morning.

An evil filthy cat ate him.

And her babies can’t stand the idea of being born into this world

of evil surroundings, so they decided to leave.

They sure look happy when I saw their corpses this morning.

And those ants crawling all over look happy too. A girl tried her best to make believe that her dream boy is all she ever needed.

Turns out the reality kick gave her a strong wills that persistency

and time is not enough to determine whether a guy is worth falling in love with.

Or not.

And she’s still twirling with her mind upside-down how to solve all this without hurting someone’s feeling.

Maybe she’s feeling a bit heroic at the moment. Another girl believes that the same guy was the love of her life.

And she still thinks that way.

She believes that in order to make it happen, she has to let go of him.

She said that love = sacrifice.

And she’s dying to meet his dog.

Its name starts with a V.

no, it’s not Vendetta.

It all brings her memories of the good old times she spent with him came back to life.

Even if it’s only in her mind. Which reminds me of my lazy-ass shih-tzu.

He’s peeking inside my bedroom right this very moment.

What do you want?

Another leftover from the dining table?

I gave you three pieces of minced meat a few hours ago,

you greedy fur ball. These are the things you’ll do when you’re looking for other activities,

any other activities,

besides doing your assignment about the basic object of philosophy,

using 3 questions about ontology: Watching the last episode of your fave mind-dumbing cartoon series which

helps a lot if u need to develop your cursing phrases and words. Taking pictures of your left-alone mother hamster in her cage,

trying to capture her most sad angle of all. Myspacing.

And then you’ll realize that “finding new cool people” is considered “bright-ideas”

by tom (the guy from myspace).

Then you’ll think about it.

Then you’ll laugh at yourself for even thinking about it. Digging over your book collections,

trying to find something that you forgot what it’s about already,

and read it again cover to cover. Wondering about the fastest way to make Scooby snacks or sleepy hot chocolate.

Make a few phone calls, and then decided to let it go. Chat with an old fella from who lives abroad about how the new-rave thingie

is taking over the music scene in jakarta,

and planning on a silly movement called "the anti - new rave" Posting a blog about the things you do when you want to avoid your assignments.

Apparently, after you’ve done all those important things,

you’ll realize that the assignments aren’t going anywhere.

Okay okay.

I’m working on it.

i wish i can draw what lies beneath my mind.

2007-06-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

when i was five years old, i took this drawing lessons. but i never get the highest grade from the teacher. you see, when i was told to draw a man, i'll draw the simplest form of man; a stick figure. but still, i have many characters in my mind, usually they speaks in space-like-but-also-sounds-like-chirps languange, and most of them had huge dramatic eyes. sometimes they told me a story about my past, like a journey to the past. another time they told me about my dreams in real life.

well, these are a few so-called-drawings from my mind, which my hands can't coordinate very well to make it real in a metaphysic form of imagination. i'll post my other drawings in my "Book Of Dreams" in the future. u'll get to see the inside story of a trippy mind in subconscious spacetime.

Subspace.

2007-06-23T22:40:00.000-07:00

last weekend i finally get off my lazy arse and accompanied a friend to spin some records, along with my long-lost-bitch. i surely need some sort of "refreshments" after spending most of my days laying around doing nothing lately. i developed quite an intense relationship with my pillows, midnight happy tos and snickers and dvds. sigh.

my toes siblings.

boys DID gossips. they chit between chats.

mr. some-guy-i-dunno-what-his-name-is-but-i-captured-anyways

the kind of pics u shot when you're feeling hyper-active. or plain wasted.

mr. nicotine

i see skies in clubs. beautiful-fake-plastic-skies filled with cigarettes smokes.

monsieurs attack.

purple toads lover.

YM and CA.

mars between venuses.

want some doobie? i'm scooby.

mylo.

kal's twirls.

i captured people who's capturing others.

a silly mammoth went out on a saturday night. the mammoth drinks a lot. then she became a whore-mammoth. a walking contradiction. miss nicotine and monsieur ditto.