(Tulisan ini dibuat 11 bulan yang lalu, ketika saya masih bergantung sepenuhnya kepada manusia, bukannya Sang Pencipta)
Teman baikku masuk ke dalam kamar.
Langkahnya terdengar di atas lantai kayu, menyeberangi kamar,
duduk di sampingku.
Pasti ia merasakan bebanku
sampai ia berinisiatif mendatangi aku.
"Teman, tahukah kau susahnya membagi hati ini untuk dua orang?
Tuan yang satu itu, tega sekali sama aku.
Aku bisa ditinggal begitu saja untuk perempuan lain,
tenggelam dalam dilema dan butiran air mata.
Dibiarkannya aku melompat-lompat mencari perhatian dia,
mengemis cinta dan cium.
Padahal aku tulus datang dengan cinta,
tapi cinta itu dilepeh baik-baik olehnya.
Ah, walaupun begitu pun aku masih tetap memungutnya.
Sedangkan Tuan yang satunya lagi, bikin aku mabuk kepayang.
Ia berlutut di depanku, bahkan betah di antara kedua tanganku.
Ia menemani aku sampai fajar tiba, dan masjid-masjid mulai berisik.
Diberikannya padaku isi pikirannya dan hatinya.
Aku jadi merasa disayang, diinginkan, dibutuhkan.
Kata-katanya membuat aku pusing,
sentuhannya membuat aku merinding.
Susah memang, membagi hati untuk dua orang.
Apalagi jika dua orang itu sebenarnya satu.
Mungkin harus kutunggu sampa keduanya melebur jadi satu,
baru kutangkap pakai jala biar tidak lari kemana-mana seperti anjing.
Namun kalau ia hendak lari, pasti kurobek sendiri jala itu
dengan gunting dalam tasku.
Begitu besar kasihku padanya sampai aku rela membiarkan dia pergi."
Lho, mau kemana kamu?
Teman baikku baru saja keluar kamar tanpa bersuara.
Oh, ternyata dia mau makan.
Pembantuku sudah menyiapkan makan untuknya.
Begitu dia mendengar piringnya dipukul dengan sendok,
lupa dia akan ceritaku.
Dasar anjing.
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